27 Nov

Thoughts on vegetarianism

Posted by readergal7 in fake meat, Vegetarian.

I’ve been vegetarian for 7 months now!  Wow, it doesn’t seem that long.  I feel that I’ve learned a lot, made a lot of mistakes, and am still learning how to get everything I need from vegetarian food.  But, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time with my food choices and love not eating meat.  It makes life difficult at times (like being on a dinner train that “forgot” I pre-ordered vegetarian) but I don’t crave meat.  Quite the opposite actually.  I’m thrilled not to have to worry about where the meat came from, how it’s cooked, if it will make me sick, etc.  All of my old neuroses surrounding the food I was eating are pretty much gone.  I still prefer to eat organic fruit and veg but it’s hard to do outside the home so I’ve come to terms with having some pesticides in my body.

All of that being said, I’m still hung up on the fake meat vs. No fake meat.  When I started eating vegetarian I ate quite a bit of fake meat.  My freezer still has quite a few Morningstar Farms boxes in it and I doubt I’ll ever give up their breakfast sausage links.  However, I’ve noticed that I don’t buy it very often.  I’m starting to wonder what exactly is in all the meat products.  Of course, I read the ingredients but that only reveals part of the story.  I guess it boils down to processed food is processed food, whether it’s meat, vegetarian, or anything in between.

Oh, and I’ve pretty much given up fish and seafood.  The last time I ate fish was at my Dad’s when he grilled some trout he had caught.  It was good, delicious actually, and I may eat some freshly-caught fish again.  However, canned tuna & salmon, frozen tilapia filets, and shrimp are definitely off the menu.

I’m starting to think of my food and eating habits as ever-evolving instead of a strict “I eat this, not that” and putting a label on myself.  I’m officially an lacto-ovo-vegetarian since I still eat dairy & eggs.  But I can’t say I will never eat fish again or continue to eat dairy for the rest of my life.  Who knows?  I just know that, for now, my food choices are making me happier & healthier than ever.

14 Oct

When I can’t becomes I can

Posted by readergal7 in Emotions. Tagged: , .

Now that I’ve run a marathon I feel like I’ve outrun the “I can’ts” that have haunted me for a long time but have been most prevalent over the last year.  I can’t do a pushup.  I can’t run fast.  I can’t run long. I can’t not drink. I can’t eat better.  I can’t lose weight.  I can’t regularly go to the gym.  I can’t watch a football game without a burger and beers.  I can’t run a marathon.

Now I feel like those burdens and demons have been shed.  I’ve been thinking they were shed when I crossed the finish line; actually, they were shed when I crossed the start line.  The cathartic feeling of just running and running and not stopping made me realize that actually, I can.  All it takes is doing: not thinking, not analyzing, not pondering, not throwing up roadblocks but actually just doing.  One step leads to the next and the next and the next…..

The encouragement over the last year, the comments on my weight loss, the pride for running certain distances all were great to hear but didn’t really register.  I haven’t taken the time to really absorb all the changes and how hard it’s all been (and just how far I’ve come).  But over the last week, I feel that all of that was absorbed.  Now it’s just who I am.  I do pushups.  I run fast.  I run long.  I only drink occasionally.  I eat well.  I’m at a healthy weight.  I regularly go to the gym.  I watch football without a burger and beers. I run a marathon.

14 Oct

Portland Marathon 2011

Posted by readergal7 in Goals, Marathons, Races. Tagged: , .

I did it! I ran the Portland Marathon!

It started out as a cool, cloudy morning. I arrived at the start line around 6 am. I immediately went to the bathroom (no line!) and then walked around. My corral was pretty empty at this point since the race started at 7. People were sitting, stretching, walking, and listening to music. One lady looked like she was praying. I dropped my sweats a little early but was thankful in the end as the line was really long just a little after I did it.

At the start line -- no, I'm not tense!

At 6:40 I drank my Gatorade Prime and lined up near the front of my corral. My goal was to keep my eye on the 4:00 pace group at the beginning. As we were walking to the start line, I lost the pace group. We hadn’t even started so I quickly decided to forget about pace groups and just run my race. It was too stressful to try to find them. We crossed the start line and I felt so emotional. The crowds lining the street, all of the runners, and the atmosphere overwhelmed me. I couldn’t believe I was actually starting a marathon….my dream, the thing I thought I couldn’t/wouldn’t do, a marathon! This feeling propelled me up the first hill and through the first 5 miles. They went by so quickly and I felt great.

Around mile 6 I had to go to the bathroom. So I ran until I saw an empty porta potty and went as fast as I could. Less water at the start next time! We hit a straight stretch that went through the industrial area of town. Luckily, we had driven the course the day before so I knew what to expect. There were some bands, a few spectators, and cheerleaders (my favorite was a group of young girls who cheered “Get Fired Up, We are Fired Up”). It stayed in my head for a couple of miles. The straight stretch ended in a U-turn so I could see the people ahead of me. Not too far from the turn around I saw the 4:00 pace group. I knew I was somewhere in between the 4:00 and the 4:10 so I felt good. I ran through the U turn and then could see all the people behind me. It was amazing to see all these people striving for something they all had trained for, built up to, and were now doing. It made me proud to be a part of the whole experience.

We turned off the straight stretch and wound our way through the NW neighborhood. I enjoyed this stretch as there were a lot of spectators, some turns, and some good energy. I was still feeling pretty good at this point. I knew the big hill was coming so had that in the back of my mind but I felt strong and happy.

We hit the very long approach towards St. John’s Bridge on NW St. Helens Rd. This was my least favorite stretch. It was sprinkling a bit but it was also long, straight, and frankly, boring. We were in a blocked off lane of the road but there was traffic on the other side of us so the prevailing sound was the swoosh of cars on wet pavement. There were some spectators and some bands but the stretch seemed to go forever. I still felt pretty strong and happy, just was ready for some outside stimulation!

Then we approached the hill up to St. John’s Bridge. I was thankful again for driving the course as it’s steep enough that I would have been surprised/freaked out if I didn’t know it was coming. I ran the hill really strong (thanks to trail running!). There were two guys in the middle of the hill cheering us on with statements like “This is not a hill. It’s an attitude” and “You’re tough. You eat nails.”. They were great! I reached the top of the hill and turned onto the bridge. I knew once I got half-way up the bridge (mile 17), it was downhill and scenic the rest of the way so I just powered myself up there. I was really proud how I handled the hill, both physically and mentally. I passed a lot of people who walked and some who were running but struggling. I felt really strong and in my element.

Then we turned into St. John’s neighborhood. I knew my family was around mile 20 but I started looking for them at mile 18. There were quite a few spectators and some music to propel me along. My stomach wasn’t super happy at this point and I felt a little spaced out but I was still moving along and engaged. I concentrated on the crowds and tried to just enjoy the scenery. A lot of the spectators were shouting “Good job, Lori!” as my name was on my race bib. I loved it. It made me smile every time.

I hit a water station around mile 20 and there were my dad, uncle, and husband. It was fantastic to see their smiling faces and to feel their support. I went over and gave them quick hugs and pats and moved along. It was so encouraging to have them along the route. And, at this point, I needed it. About mile 21 I felt like I was running on fumes. The 4:10 pace group passed me and I ran with them for a while. Then I saw them fading into the distance ahead of me. I wasn’t discouraged though (thankfully!). I really just wanted to finish and had stopped caring about my time. My mind was a little blank and I was focused on getting downtown and running that last mile.

I crossed the Broadway Bridge and then hit downtown. There were two ladies on the bridge who shouted encouragement (Go, Lori) and it still made me smile. I thought this was a good sign…I could still smile! I just kept plugging along, not thinking, hitting the lap button at every mile but not looking at the time, and just concentrating on hitting mile 25. For some reason, I thought mile 25 would be grand to see. I wanted to run the last mile strong so I think I just knew I had to get there and then could finish this thing! I hit mile 25 and tried to pick it up a little. I wasn’t too successful at picking up the pace but I did the best I could. I knew I had to hit SW Salmon and I’d be two short turns away from the finish. The crowds were getting bigger, the cheering louder, and I just powered through. I hit the first turn and about halfway down the block heard my name. I turned and there was my friend Bonnie cheering me on. I waved and smiled. Then almost immediately on the other side were my dad, uncle, and husband. I waved to them, made the last turn and finished!

Happy at the end!

I ended up running it in 4:10. I feel really proud of that time as I know I gave it my all. I didn’t concentrate on my splits or my overall time. Around mile 19 I knew I wasn’t going to hit 4 hours so I decided I’d be happy with 4:20. Falling in the middle of my original goal and my revised goal works for me!

Now that I know what it’s like to run a marathon, I want to run more. It gave me such a feeling of accomplishment, pride, motivation, and contentment. I’m happy with my first one…and am excited to see what the next one brings!

27 Sep

Rolling emotions and an obsession

Posted by readergal7 in anxiety, Emotions, Goals, Marathons, Races.

The Portland Marathon is quickly approaching.  When I signed up it seemed such a long time away:  I had plenty of time to train and it was a fun goal to work toward.  Now, it’s 12 days away and feels very, very close.  I have found myself obsessing over it in a way that is a little excessive even to me.  I feel it’s looming presence always: when I’m showering, working, reading, watching tv, fixing dinner….ALWAYS!  I’ll be wondering “what should I eat for breakfast?” and I think “I’ll be eating grape nuts in 12 days before I run my marathon”.  This obsession has resulted in a roller coaster of emotions surrounding the event.

Even just a few days ago, the prevailing emotion was plain excitement.  Excited to be finishing my training, being confident in my ability to finish, dreaming about a good finishing time…all positive, excited feelings and thoughts.  But now the negative, worried thoughts have creeped in.  What if I don’t meet my time goal?  What if I totally bomb after telling everyone how I felt good about my preparation?  What if, after over a year of eating right, running tons, changing my body and attitude, I’m still (god forbid) slow?  Ugh.

I’m attempting to keep the negative thoughts at bay by reminding myself that for years I didn’t even think it was possible for me to run a marathon.  Now I’m not all that concerned about finishing…but I am concerned about reaching my goal, feeling proud, staying strong, etc.  So to come that far in a year is pretty impressive (I keep telling myself).  I think it boils down to not celebrating my progress enough and focusing too much on the potentials.  Just the fact that I ran 20 miles with energy left in the tank should make me confident.  But it’s hard to celebrate that fact when I’m bogged down with “yea, but that’s not 26 miles and you didn’t go as fast as your goal time and maybe it was just a fluke day and….”.

So, over this next week, my focus is going to be on positive thoughts and celebration: celebrating my successes so far and accepting where I’m at in the moment.  Wish me luck!

7 Aug

I’m back!

Posted by readergal7 in Goals, Races, Travel. Tagged: , , , , , , .

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted.  No real reason…just didn’t get around to writing a blog post.  Plenty has happened, though!

I ran the See Jane Run 1/2 marathon on June 18th.  It went really well.  My sister was my surprise cheerleader.  She was amazing!  She drove around the course, stopping every few miles to play a different “instrument” (think dollar store trumpets, plastic clappers, kazoo, etc.) and cheer me on.  It was truly the best part of the race.  And, it spurred me to meet my goal and a PR!  I ran it in 1:58.  So happy to get under 2 hours.  And at the end, I could honestly say I could not have run it any faster.  Of course, in typical fashion, I think back and wonder if different food, different day, etc. would have made a difference but I know deep down I did my best.  And I’m proud of that.

I also ran the San Francisco Half on July 31st.  It was a spur of the moment decision.  I had a trip already booked to visit friends and realized that the marathon was happening while I was there.  I planned to be a spectator but then noticed there were spots left in the second half marathon.  So I thought, “why not?”.  I registered a few days before I flew out and had a really good time running it.  The night before I was having my doubts (I really just wanted to hang out and have some wine with friends instead of thinking of running in the morning) but in the end, I’m glad I did it.  My official time was 2:01 but my Garmin said 1:59 (I stopped a little after mile 1 to use the bathroom and I guess it took me 2 minutes as I stopped my watch while I peed).  It was the hilliest race I’ve ever run so I was happy with my time.  Especially considering my broken toe.

Ah, the broken toe!  I was at the gym and dropped a weight on my foot.  Man, did that hurt!  I don’t recommend it to anyone.  I did some Peter Griffin breathing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gz02QZSNPY) and luckily a trainer spotted me.  He let me do my thing and then brought me some ice.  I called my husband (it was his birthday, no less) to pick me up since I had biked to the gym.  Got an x-ray and found out the tip of my big toe was broken.  Nothing to do about it, just the normal Rest Ice Compression Elevation.  My foot was bruised and swollen but I could run on it about 3 weeks after it happened.  The “break” was super depressing and maddening.  It’s hard to sit around when I knew I should be training.  But I could ride my bike after a week so that helped.

Which brings me to the lessons I’ve learned over the past month:

1. Cross training is good (biking is way more fun and way more of a workout than I thought)

2. Only run early in the morning (ran out of water in the heat TWICE and it sucked big time)

3. Protein, protein, protein helps energy

4. Carbs, carbs, carbs helps energy

5. Resting is good for the body

And, best of all, I have finally become the runner I’ve wanted to be….one who finds out that a half marathon is happening at their vacation destination and thinks “why not?”.  I never thought I’d be that person and now I am.  And it makes me smile.

Next up….the person who does the full marathon on a whim.

6 Jun

Vacation

Posted by readergal7 in Travel, Vegetarian. Tagged: , , , .

Ah, vacation!  What a great invention.  Husband & I ventured out on a road trip to SE Utah a couple of weeks ago and I’m still feeling rejuvenated by it.  2000 miles, 3 National Parks, 2 State Parks, 2 Navajo monuments, and countless exclamations of Wow!  Everywhere we looked was another gorgeous sight….it helps that I’m a rock nerd and often regret changing my college major from geology.

Above our Needles campground

We tent camped and I felt like I was constantly moving (except when we were driving, of course).  Even going to the bathroom required a walk.  We did some amazing hikes and I did manage to get in some runs.  I didn’t do a long run but I did multiple short runs.  The elevation and the hills slowed me down but it was so nice to get up, put on my running clothes, and just go.  I wasn’t concerned about the “quality” of the run; rather, my goal was to just get a run in.  And it was fun.  It’s a good lesson for me to learn: sometimes running is just plain fun.  It doesn’t need to be timed (though I wore my Garmin), worried over, or measured.  The important thing is to just consistently get out the door and run.  And, with views like this, how could I not?

Campground view

The eating part brought it’s own challenges but it worked out.  I thought the vegetarian me and meat-eating Husband would clash more with camping food.  Turns out, we clashed the same as when we’re home! Breakfast is always easy and lunch isn’t bad since we pretty much packed our individual lunches to take with us on our hikes.  Dinner, however, was a little harder.  I ended up just slicing tofu and throwing it on the grill a few minutes before his steak/chicken was done.  Not the most flavorful but it got some protein in my body.  The biggest issue is that Husband is allergic to soy.  So I won’t eat his protein choices and he can’t eat mine (for the most part).  We do manage to eat the same sides!

Cooking beans

All in all, it was a fantastic vacation.  Some days I wish I could have run longer and some days I wish I could have fit a run in at all.  But most days we managed to find a balance: runs, hikes, and driving.  Oh, and eating.

17 May

Running with others

Posted by readergal7 in anxiety, Groups, Mornings. Tagged: , , .

I’ve been a lone runner since I started running. I rarely ran with anyone else for numerous reasons: I enjoyed the alone time, I got weirdly competitive, I thought too much about keeping up/slowing down/breathing. The stress of it all took the enjoyment out of it.

But I felt like I was missing out on some greater benefit to being a runner by not having a running group. Articles I read espousing the joy of having running partners made me long for one. So I’m trying. I joined a meetup group (but have failed to actually join them on a run), I’m meeting a few ladies for a weekly trail run, and have cautiously reached out to friends.

So far, it’s worked. I’ve gone on one trail run with two friends and, even though I feared running up hills with anyone else, it all turned out fine. The early morning run resulted in two things: I got my run in for the day and, more importantly, I had a good long chat with friends. I felt more refreshed and ready to start my day than I do when I run alone.

My biggest adventure running with someone was a half-marathon I did last Saturday with my sister. It turned out to be a great time. We chatted with each other the whole race and I didn’t even think about my pace, my breathing, or how much time had passed. Granted, we weren’t running for a certain time. Instead, our goal was to finish strong, have fun, and feel good about the run. Goal accomplished:

Running with others has taken on a new meaning for me. It’s no longer about how I’m doing in the run; rather, it’s about spending time with someone else doing something we both enjoy. The time goes by quicker, I don’t get so in my head about what I’m trying to accomplish with the run, and I feel great at the end. It actually makes running more fun.

I’m starting to see why all those articles speak so highly of running partners and groups. I’m determined to keep running with friends and not being intimidated at the thought. It’ll be good for me to mix it up a bit: keep my solo runs (both for training and mental health purposes) but also join in with others. Finding the right balance is my next challenge.

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